To Sum Up

As the school year comes to a close and I get ready to go home, I have a lot of time on my hands becuase of finals. My finals are easy so there's little studying going on but studying nontheless. I have been thinking about how I got throught the past year or so alive. First of all, I did it with God. By taking a leap of faith I moved out here, knowing only the unknown and God was faithful, like He always is. Secondly, my family and friends. Many nights on the phone late, helping me with papers, all of these things helped immensly. Even people in Memphis, like my new friends and Rachel, a lady who is such an amazing example of grace. I have amazing roll models here and in Colorado and to look up to them kept me falling forward. Lastly, believing in myself. Putting all of these elements together along with my own encouragement and perserverance and thats what you call Freshman year. I feel like I've grown up about 10 years. Coming out here I didnt think I needed to grow up anymore, at least not this quickly. Once I let my pride down, thats when the seas crashed and I learned more about my life in 6 monhts than all 19 years. I'm not saying I have it all figured now, but I have accquired so many more tools to weather the storms I am given. Yesterday in church I got choked up worshipping this amazing God that sent me here. I knew I was where I was meant to be. It was encouraging for me to get that feeling that God and I were celebrating together. The part in the song goes like this:

I was defeated but now here I stand claiming the day.

We're Taking This Lying Down

I just got back from my first protest. I feel like I should put this in a baby book or something. "My first protest." I commuted for the Invisible Children in the Sudan. People all over the world joined me in a stand to end the war there. I have never experienced anything like that. There were about 200 people with sleeping bags and pillows; snacks and drinks; cards and books. All to gather to support a common cause. Most of the kids I found out were under 18 years old. We wrote letters to Congressmen and President Bush. We also made an art project about what we think we were doing. "What does the Global Night Commute mean to you" was my question.

I don't know why I have such a strong heart for this cause but it gets me to my core. Maybe its becuase these children are being forced to murder other people. One child said, "I get a headache if I don't see blood." That makes me cringe. Possibly, becuase I have been interested in education lately; the betterment of children in society, that I am such an activist for this issue. Whatever it is, it surprises me and it humbles me every time I think about those kids. Sleeping outside on pavement (in the pouring rain mind you) was just a taste of what those kids do. They do it every night. They do it to live. Here in America, I have a bed, a comfy bed at that, to sleep in every night. I dont worry about people coming to abduct me in the middle of the night, shove an AK-47 in my hands and tell me to shoot the kid next to me till he's nothing but a puddle of blood. It seems so surreal to me. Never being overseas kind of limits my knowledge about the world to a television and books. I dont see how such violence goes on in the world, but it does. In America, we have it pretty nice.

Sleeping next to 187 strangers was a new experience as well. If you have seen the film, Invisible Children, there is a camera shot of the kids sleeping in a hospital. They are the commuters. Well this morning when I got up thats exactly what everyone looked like. It kind of gave me the chills to think, "wow these kids do this everynigth and its not even this glamorous." They might not have a blanket or a pillow, and people brought every kind of pleasure from home. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, iPods. I didn't bring any of that. I chose to experierence is as real as possible. Waking up every hour wasn't much fun. Sleeping next to Mr. Snoring-so-loud-I-could-barely-sleep wasn't much fun. Being in the humidity, and almost in the rain wasn't much fun. Being close to so many people who shared my concern for the kids in Uganda, that was fun. Waking up at dawn and having quiet time with God, admist all of this, now that was fun. Looking back and saying that I was a part of something that could change someone's life; priceless.

<30+15

A champion gets up even when they can’t.

When I am on my game, I am unstoppable. I spend so much of my time reaching for perfection, when perfection can never be reached. I choose to work hard. I exert a considerable amount of energy in weights and run so many miles to build a dominating force. My focus is intense and abundant. I wait patiently for my time to come when all the variables will be in place to crush the field. I have already won. The countless hours poured into my game have gotten me where I am and that in itself is a victory. I want to be able to come off the course knowing I put it all out there; I used my tools in the best way I know how. I am not looking for acceptance from other people but only from myself. I am playing for me and only me. I am trying to prove that all the sweat, hours, sacrifices, aches and pains were worth it. I aim to please my God in Heaven with the gift he has instilled in me for eternity. Everything I have been through, has prepared me for this moment. The obstacles and victories I have been through possessing the appropriate characteristics to allow me to execute this next shot with everything I have. I loose myself in the moment. Everything goes quiet; I know I am in the zone. I have one opportunity. I will not let it go, no matter how hard the conditions. I only see where I will hit my shot, how far, how hard; I have extremely good touch. I own the qualities to become the best this world has ever seen. I have a dream. I have determination. I have the will power to overcome anything. I have a support system people would dream to have. I have it all. Most of all, I know how to win.

Less than thirty; by fifteen.

OMG

Im pretty upset with the result of our game tonight. I might be wounded for a bit but give me time. We had a National Championship team and we let it slip right through our fingers. Pretty dissapointed boys. I would be okay if we played well and the other team ya know, beat us legit, but WHAT THE HECK!?! We shoot 28% in the first half from the floor. Im pretty embarassed. But whatev. They are pretty much all freshman anyway...except the BEST PLAYER! UGH!!!!!!!! Anyway, have a great night all!

ELITE EIGHT

HERE WE COME!!!

March Madness

I'm not just talkin about basketball!

Wow, it has definitely been awhile since I have posted anything! PHEW! School has been pretty busy. We got back from Las Vegas last week after taking a red eye home. That was so much fun let me tell you! :/ 24 hours of no sleep. Pleasant. The weekend has been relaxing and I'm trying to catch up on school work but there's this basketball tournament goin on....haha yeah a little addicting. I love march madness!!! PLUS Memphis is rockin' on through to the Final Four baby!!! Trav is comin on Thursday and that makes me the happiest girl in the whole world!!! I can't wait! Also the fam and I went house shopping yesterday. We found some candidates but I'm not the one runnin the checkbook so I don't know what kind of casa we (my cousin and I) will get. It was good to see my family from Louisiana and my Grandma and Grandpa from L-Town. Haven't been to school in about 2 weeks so that's kind of exciting too! Trav is here for a week then we leave for Atlanta. YIPEE!!! The next week we drive down to Hattisburg, MS and then the next week its off to East Carolina for Conf USA Championship. Before I know it finals are here that next weekend then its BACK TO COLORADO!!!! :) CANT EVEN WAIT! Until next time....

Same Old

So its only like the what, 3rd week of school and I'm already beat down with the same routine!!??! This is not good. Today I had to declare my room single or not single (I didnt have a roommate last semester) and I have to declare it a double so there is the chance I could get a roomy this semester. I was really mad at first but then we had qualifying so that kind of gets rid of my anger I guess. I came to the conclusion that, #1 If i did get a roomy they would be put in my life for a specific purpose and to teach me something, I guess thats not all bad; #2 I will be gone for like the whole semester so it wouldnt matter anyway and #3 I might meet someone I like.

Oh by the way qualifying didnt go so hot but at least I did some hardcore thinking. Meh, whatev.

I just hate how they dont tell you if you are going to get one, they just show up. And my crap is ALL over the room so they would probably be mad. Well its my room. haha just deal.

Well thats all I have on this lovely Tuesday in Memphis. Have a great one.

Home Sweet Home

Surrounding oneself in the rush of the everyday high schooler’s life can take focus off the things that really matter. Not to worry high school senior you will find your first semester that focus quickly changes. I didn’t see that when I was leaving. I was SO excited to get out of Colorado. Boy did that change after a week in the dorm with my new roommate! I don’t adapt well to change. Especially one as drastic as that one. It hit me pretty hard. One thing I did learn, I had to grow up fast. To be able to handle Division 1 athletics, academics, and living in a big city took a big step from me. I was already pretty independent and headstrong but you can only be those things to an extent when you have a parent’s watchful eye glued to your every move. I am ecstatic about coming home. I have run images of Colorado in my head ever since I started to miss it and it feels like I am there now. Only 1600 miles away in my little dorm room dreaming I was climbing Grays and Torreys, or skiing down Mary Jane with Trav, playing 18 holes at Ute Creek, or just sitting in my house enjoying the company of my family, all of these things seem like just memories and it saddens me. I dream of a life from the past. I try to look ahead but I see something completely different. I counsel God on the issue, I hear Him say something like ‘be still and keep your eyes toward the heavens’. However, within me is a constant struggle of being molded into what God has planned and trying to live in the past, of good times and no responsibility. It seems great but God has more in store.

Ah, there’s nothing like growing up. I didn’t think it was going to be scary. I don’t really know what I thought it would entail but with all those responsibilities come greater joys. Whatever those may be remains undetermined but I don’t find myself worrying; just excited to get home to see my family and friends. Excited to go back to the place I’ve spent my entire life living in.

Finally

Well, I am finally home. I got here Monday night at 11ish and surprised Trav. Then yesterday surprised my parents! It was great, I am so glad to be home! I will have another blog up in a couple days. School is over, that makes me the happiest!!!!!

I LOVE COLORADO!!!

Leave With a Bang

The wind is blowing. My eyes water. The last day of the 5A State Championship is here. It's cold but I don't mind. I play better while others think of excuses. I am one shot back but not a bit worried. I run through my game plan again and again in my head watching the other girls tee off. I try and track down my team on the course. We are two ahead with one day to play. If we hold on, it will be Stephanie and my fourth state championship. We have had our eyes on this the whole year. Our team has overcome so many things to be here, to be in this position. I look behind me and see my support system for the last 7 years. My mom, my dad, Keith, Trav, Cheryl, Jenny. They are all here. This is my day. I am so confident nothing fades me. My group is called to the tee, the wind still blowing fiercely as if trying to test me. My gaze softens, my head clears, I reach for my ever trusty 5-wood and put my hands on the club. I take a practice swing and I feel effortless power. I look at my competitors. I can see they are nervous and uneasy, but I am not; not here. Not on our home course. Not anywhere for that matter. All the work I've put in in the last 7 years has been tedious and time consuming but this makes it all worth it. My heart starts to race. I step onto the first tee and they announce my name. All the practice, the running, the mental work, its all time to put it together and make a solid exit from my high school golf career. No more playing in anyone's shadow, no waiting for my turn because today it is here. I line up my shot, breathe softly, step into the zone and a try to hit my first shot with everything I've got. The ball comes off the club with a pow and everyone claps. And we're off, the round starts. Its game time.