To Sum Up

As the school year comes to a close and I get ready to go home, I have a lot of time on my hands becuase of finals. My finals are easy so there's little studying going on but studying nontheless. I have been thinking about how I got throught the past year or so alive. First of all, I did it with God. By taking a leap of faith I moved out here, knowing only the unknown and God was faithful, like He always is. Secondly, my family and friends. Many nights on the phone late, helping me with papers, all of these things helped immensly. Even people in Memphis, like my new friends and Rachel, a lady who is such an amazing example of grace. I have amazing roll models here and in Colorado and to look up to them kept me falling forward. Lastly, believing in myself. Putting all of these elements together along with my own encouragement and perserverance and thats what you call Freshman year. I feel like I've grown up about 10 years. Coming out here I didnt think I needed to grow up anymore, at least not this quickly. Once I let my pride down, thats when the seas crashed and I learned more about my life in 6 monhts than all 19 years. I'm not saying I have it all figured now, but I have accquired so many more tools to weather the storms I am given. Yesterday in church I got choked up worshipping this amazing God that sent me here. I knew I was where I was meant to be. It was encouraging for me to get that feeling that God and I were celebrating together. The part in the song goes like this:

I was defeated but now here I stand claiming the day.

We're Taking This Lying Down

I just got back from my first protest. I feel like I should put this in a baby book or something. "My first protest." I commuted for the Invisible Children in the Sudan. People all over the world joined me in a stand to end the war there. I have never experienced anything like that. There were about 200 people with sleeping bags and pillows; snacks and drinks; cards and books. All to gather to support a common cause. Most of the kids I found out were under 18 years old. We wrote letters to Congressmen and President Bush. We also made an art project about what we think we were doing. "What does the Global Night Commute mean to you" was my question.

I don't know why I have such a strong heart for this cause but it gets me to my core. Maybe its becuase these children are being forced to murder other people. One child said, "I get a headache if I don't see blood." That makes me cringe. Possibly, becuase I have been interested in education lately; the betterment of children in society, that I am such an activist for this issue. Whatever it is, it surprises me and it humbles me every time I think about those kids. Sleeping outside on pavement (in the pouring rain mind you) was just a taste of what those kids do. They do it every night. They do it to live. Here in America, I have a bed, a comfy bed at that, to sleep in every night. I dont worry about people coming to abduct me in the middle of the night, shove an AK-47 in my hands and tell me to shoot the kid next to me till he's nothing but a puddle of blood. It seems so surreal to me. Never being overseas kind of limits my knowledge about the world to a television and books. I dont see how such violence goes on in the world, but it does. In America, we have it pretty nice.

Sleeping next to 187 strangers was a new experience as well. If you have seen the film, Invisible Children, there is a camera shot of the kids sleeping in a hospital. They are the commuters. Well this morning when I got up thats exactly what everyone looked like. It kind of gave me the chills to think, "wow these kids do this everynigth and its not even this glamorous." They might not have a blanket or a pillow, and people brought every kind of pleasure from home. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, iPods. I didn't bring any of that. I chose to experierence is as real as possible. Waking up every hour wasn't much fun. Sleeping next to Mr. Snoring-so-loud-I-could-barely-sleep wasn't much fun. Being in the humidity, and almost in the rain wasn't much fun. Being close to so many people who shared my concern for the kids in Uganda, that was fun. Waking up at dawn and having quiet time with God, admist all of this, now that was fun. Looking back and saying that I was a part of something that could change someone's life; priceless.

<30+15

A champion gets up even when they can’t.

When I am on my game, I am unstoppable. I spend so much of my time reaching for perfection, when perfection can never be reached. I choose to work hard. I exert a considerable amount of energy in weights and run so many miles to build a dominating force. My focus is intense and abundant. I wait patiently for my time to come when all the variables will be in place to crush the field. I have already won. The countless hours poured into my game have gotten me where I am and that in itself is a victory. I want to be able to come off the course knowing I put it all out there; I used my tools in the best way I know how. I am not looking for acceptance from other people but only from myself. I am playing for me and only me. I am trying to prove that all the sweat, hours, sacrifices, aches and pains were worth it. I aim to please my God in Heaven with the gift he has instilled in me for eternity. Everything I have been through, has prepared me for this moment. The obstacles and victories I have been through possessing the appropriate characteristics to allow me to execute this next shot with everything I have. I loose myself in the moment. Everything goes quiet; I know I am in the zone. I have one opportunity. I will not let it go, no matter how hard the conditions. I only see where I will hit my shot, how far, how hard; I have extremely good touch. I own the qualities to become the best this world has ever seen. I have a dream. I have determination. I have the will power to overcome anything. I have a support system people would dream to have. I have it all. Most of all, I know how to win.

Less than thirty; by fifteen.